| I'm tired of faking a smile.
I'm tired of waking up unsure of myself.
I'm tired of pretending to be alright when all I want to do is hide away.
I'm tired of being angry at myself and those around me.
I'm tired of footprints on my back.
I'm tired of being me.
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| Growing up I never had much family, just my mom, sister, and myself. When my mom married my step-father I got a grandpa, not a step-grandfather, but a man who took me in as his own. Raymond Tanner. When my step-dad wrote me off as nothing, Ray was there to tell me he was wrong and that I was something.
When I turned 14 I would have done anything for a guitar, and when my family didn't have the money Ray made sure that I got what I wanted and put me to work, paying way too much money for a 14 year old on a farm. I bought that guitar.
When I turned 17 I got my first car, a 1990 Dodge Spirit with a broken head gasket. My parents gave me this car with the hopes that I could learn some responsibility. Raymond dedicated his nights and days to teaching me everything I would ever need to know about that car.
This man, was everything that makes a person amazing, and cared about everyone with all of his heart. He lived 91 years and lived the life of over 10 men. I can without a doubt say that he is a good fraction of what made me who I am today.
Raymond Tanner died this morning at 10:30am. He will be missed by so many. I know that he had the best of spots reserved for him and is watching over me right now. |
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